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may be up in her DREAM…

4:11 am

Coming things got nothing with the title…But it’s just something I heard that if you can’t sleep…It’s because you are awaken in someone else’s dream. Senseless but hope giving.

Just another night..Where I’m listening how the sound of police sirens patrolling faded into birds chirping. Also how nothing matters at all. And believe… whoever said that this sound is beautiful…Don’t had work, coz it really not pleases but annoys, infuriates.

Soo..now I’m insomniac.. may that was only missing. So well here it is. Why is it so important ?? This honesty…What is this obsession to it. I mean it’s just too much. Well…I know I m really not right person to advocate this subject but I want to know people from where I see….It’s just waste…waste.
Most untruthful thing I’ve heard about love is honesty. Because you really could not have had her or him. If you have had been honest when they asked what you think of them….& You have said they are most beautiful person you’ve ever seen…& believe it or not They might have had ran to mirror… glaring themselves & they believed it…& I don’t know rest of it…But one of those hundred time you have said this….You meant it…You knew it…May be just once…But you meant it.

This most beautiful person is  same person… who was taking medications, supplements just to mend some oddities ( FYI your so called honest pups don’t like them too) , problem with clothing ( size matters) , emotionally​, socially, timid or shy whatever you say….That person knows it all… But that just became thing of past.

Now… tell me… are you really looking for honest opinions? coz my love it’s just not like that….Love just don’t works like that…

( Again that chirp…I’m gonna shot these wingy-tingys)

Recall that first greet you had…& tring to act like Harvard graduates…

After time you were like not talking anymore…Like nothing left after knewing each other’s fav color, fav movie etc.

But then…Very one day…Some creep topic & how you spent night over smartening each other ( well these are just references…You may have different boring story)

& Then time & senselessness took over cockpit.

You are in love my friend… & Sign is If you finds yourself awake… Specifically if it’s 4.50….

Pheww…Thank god it’s 4.51πŸ˜…πŸ˜…

But point is I can’t…No one can be honest…When it’s you ( your you, you know…This is my you.)

 On behalf of every dishonest but real lover.. Here’s our oath
“I say all right things to you..that’s what I do…I say to you what I feel about you…Will keep doing it, to keep you by my side..Truth or lie are now just words…& You look so beautiful when you smile, cry, scream, angry, running, anything you do”πŸ˜‹

My parents when I see them…I ask myself….Why are they together? I mean they are so different..(in common ways…Our ways)

Like my mother is frugal about money whereas my father…Let’s don’t talk about itπŸ˜‚. Like my mother like occasionally smiling…That too when you don’t leaves switches on when you aren’t in roomπŸ˜‚….& My father always laughing loud…& much more. 

Now here’s a catch…They can be like all honest to each other…. They are married after all,  for very long time. But,

It’s just love empowers the fact that my mother is not most beautiful woman in the world… But for my father she is one, only one in the world.

These emotions..these feelings.. I see this in them…I feel this in them.

In brevity, if I love you….I will say.. I’ll do..I’ll be whatsoever that will make you feel good, beautiful, more mine.

“When I said it, I meant it”.
Go people….. rise above these false believes​ & go make your own.  

Done.

Now tips…

Well..It’s good if someone​ loves you for who you are….

But after a while..if that person doesn’t improves you on some practical levels (not shitty emotional stuff that you can learn from any Indian movie)…he is sick bastard…Looking for sex toy..Don’t hesitate to kick his balls.

 ( Don’t go down this…Be a good reader…Down there I got personal note..Okk thanks..)

Hey sweetie,

I hope you are smiling….

Keep it there…..

& Yeah…Leaving me was your choice …keep Loving you is mine…

( you assholes…Not you sweetie) 

5.29am..Good MorningπŸ˜‡

3:)

she is more than typical…

When my most used emoji turned from this 😢 to this 😘 . I knew she is the one of most beautiful thing happened with me. But in no time along side of this😘…came these πŸ˜…πŸ˜‹πŸ˜“πŸ˜”…..Okk this was also some point normal…But very then these were not enough…I was looking in other emojis category….

Whether it’s insta, fb, or anything….Looking for quotations…I can resemble to her….

I too myself had much to say…But simple texts are not so appreciable… Now days Love is more appreciable when they brewed from witty feeds , poem porn or some Raj or Rahul Kaushik with fancy fonts…( But believe me…. they are fooling you….My love is undescribable for you )… & Ironic part is my full page poetry just makes you smile…..But those fooling hysterical fonts tickles you…
So I’m sharing something confidential here..She must never know…Just me & you okk!! …Soo it went like.. 

[- = me.    ,    + = She ]

⏰Then#

00:30am

-may i sleep?

+ noooo….

– babe…I need to….( plzz stop me…Talk more…plzz…Plzz) 

+ Hmm…Okk gud nite..😊
– Thanx…For understanding… 

(aren’t you suppose to stop me??…But no…You always like ” We are different my love…We are not like others, we are not those typical couples.. Who talks in unreal cute voice…Late night senselessly talking” …& I goes like”exactly baby”… Outside:πŸ˜ŠπŸ˜‹ ( inside:πŸ˜‘πŸ˜‘πŸ˜‘πŸ˜‘πŸ˜±πŸ˜±πŸ˜€πŸ’€)

Well…This msg hasn’t seen..

&

⏰Now#

00:30

-may i sleep?

+ noooo….

– babe…I need to….

+ Ok..Bye

– Thanx for understanding ( same time…I’m arranging my bed)

+ But you don’t gimme time…Only this time we got…Plzz just 5 min…

– ok..Say

5 mins & millions of 😘 later….

On 5:07am 

+ I’m so happy I got you…Hug me now Plzz.. 

– Yeah baby doin….Can you feel it…( How the hell I’m suppose to do it )

+ Yeah…I can…It feels so good. I love you sooooo much. You know what  “We are different my love…We are not like others, we are not those typical couples.. Who talks in unreal cute voice…Late night senselessly talking” .

 – exactly baby.. 
( WTF… What’s different in that…you Stupid……BUT

you know what I still don’t gets…Why….God why….She’s so important… She’s so innocent…She’s so favourite…She’s so loving…So beautiful​…Why she’s mine…Do I deserve this fucking level of acceptance……

& One thing that totally thrills me is….I switched from BDSM porn….To passionate, sensuous , erotica terms…{ Modern sign of real love } πŸ˜…πŸ˜‚

Also dirty talks were more turned to imaginary candle light dinner dates…with unfinished desserts​…

Cheesy talks more turned to hubby+honey arguments on home interior &  ” how to solve fights” we haven’t had yet… & much more )

+ Good night love 😘😘

– yeah…love… Good night 😘😘😍

+ Should  I  go sleep ?? ( plzz stop me…Talk more…plzz…Plzz) 

– hmm..😘  & no reply now.. Okk

+ Ok bye…( πŸ˜“πŸ˜’) 
& Then she’ll​ wait for other 15 min for me, …coz it takes averagly 7 min for normal human to sleep.

At that point..Even if I would sent       ” .  ” , convo will rise again.

We play here  vice versa….My angel unwantingly go sleep…

You know..Most special wishes are….The latest GOOD NIGHTS & the earliest GOOD MORNINGS….

I’m good at both…

It’s typical?? I guess, may be yes…

Everyone wants their love to stand out of world…But what I feel it is more here to make you part of world….

Keep it simple…Boy!!

1. Work hard

2. Get job

3. Get paid as much…That no shitty  hurdles like cast, creed comes in b/w of your marriage…MONEY IS KEY, Dude.

4. Have altleast 2 kids…& 1 MUST BE ADOPTED. 

5. MOST IMPORTANT….LIVE EVERY PROMISE YOU MADE TO EACH OTHER.

This may look like personal note…It can be or not may be?

 But I tell you….i do find her some point irritating…annoying…What she really is……

But from the time she shared my deepest tear….I owe her my world (this is I call personal note πŸ˜‹)….

She’s not typical….

She’s more than typical… 

                                                                 3:)

Let’s love for a moment…

I’ll show my best dance moves, I’ll also sing for you, I look right into your eyes & without a blink I’ll proclaim you the most beautiful lady ( even if you are not…You will not be capable to trace of doubt in my eyes…& very sudden you are blushing inside..But you will not let that to come on your face)… I will pull you closer…My hand will slide from your back to your waist…There’ll closest & farthest distace at same time from my lips to your lips…& Most beautiful dream will break now…You will summon all the powers of ignorance…Well you don’t need to…Let’s get out of here. Hypocrisy will mount on our  head ( may be with different definitions ).

Well, question is why moment ? They are compatible, comprehensive & also you can have them anytime anywhere specifically….A particular pick….Which will follow “this one time”…….So instead of becoming million good things happens with you….it becomes to be that one thing you will be wanting to write in your diary, like when you think of it..You don’t know you’ve left the tap open…You will be over chewing your food….you would wanting go more & more to mirror….& also.. now you let those hair swirl touch you cheek. 

Moment….You can squeeze out every little of it…Untill it drops it essence…& Also you can spit that gum now….without any regret…& We are back to square. As we never were…We never will.

But…I neither have expectations nor I give. But in that moment…I dont just give …I ample surrender.

This is something can’t be timed with electric clock but sand clock……Can’t be elevated by giant wheel but on my lap….Can’t be talked on…But to sing for.

What you say….Should be..??

You : Let’s love for a moment… 

                                                               3:)

I just wish for you…with every shooting star…

This story is totally fictious , but has got very much to do with you…all the characters are imaginary & dead inside…soo anyhow at somepoint somehow you starts connecting… abort I repeat abort…Stop reading immediately…in case of any emotional damage there  will be no responsibility of author…With love..Let’s start

Characters

√ sent

βœ“ seen

. Wait ]

– I just wish for you…with ever shooting star..

Like desert wish for rain..so it can nou..

Hey..are u alright?

+ I gotta go…I am tired

– okay….Good night.

Next day..

-I was calling you…βœ“

+ Yeah…Say

– nothing…Good morning loveβœ“

+ Yeah…gm

– so how are you? Breakfast ?βœ“

+ Yeah…I gotta go…TTYL..Bye

– yeah…. take care √

.

.

.

– hey…I was watching that “we were on break” episode… Remember when you wrote me 18 pages back & forth.. ha ha ha.. √

.

.

– I  looked up for earrings you favourited…They raised the price again…I am going to sell my kidney..Okay…You don’t stop me this time √

.

– chai…….Zindagi…..Or chaiβ˜•β˜•πŸ˜…  βˆš

……………………

+ Active

Hey heyaa heyooooπŸ˜‹πŸ˜‹πŸ˜‹πŸ˜πŸ˜  (not sent….Try again…Net problem…Try again…Tapping screen.. killing send button…Phooo..Finally)

Hey heyaa heyooooπŸ˜‹πŸ˜‹πŸ˜‹πŸ˜πŸ˜  ~.. √
+ Active 2 min ago

πŸ˜±πŸ˜’πŸ˜₯πŸ˜žπŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜‹πŸ˜ŠπŸ˜Š

{She haven’t seen other 1s too… may be again that net problem…I told her just change her phone…It’s just take my breath away…When she is not  answering me…ignores me…( You are thinking shit…Stop it..She loves you..Why you always behave like this…You never understands) fuck you thoughts…I know she loves me…Don’t you mock me…}

..

..

.

.

All seen..

Reply ,

+ hi..

Chat head bells..me bumps outta bed..

– hey..Where were you…How was your day…(tonnes of emotions in simple questions )

+ Good..

– okay…hey sky full of stars…Lemme complete my poem..Okk βœ“

+ (typing…..)

– typing.. ( I just wish for you…with ever shooting star.. Like desert wish..)

Ring

+ I am so tired yrr….πŸ˜ͺπŸ˜΄πŸ˜…

– (backspaced every word with smile….)

–  okay…But you have to listen it tomorrow.βœ“

+ Promise… Gn

– good night…Love.. √

( I just wish for you…with ever shooting star..

Like desert wish for rain..So it can nourish it’s only flower..

Planted by 1 wanderer decades ago…So that when he returns he could know the path..

Till this date desert waits for him..Who gifted her this love potion cellar

He died somewhere in midst of sand dunes…I just wish desert never get to know this…That its his only blood gave the flower it’s colour…

So untill desert will wait for her deserver…….I will watch your back….Be your savior….Watch out for u…Will keep u from scars…Take you far so far….& We will never get apart 😍😊😊😈 )

{backspaced all in above bracketπŸ˜“πŸ˜ž…but why..?? }

[bye I will have to wake up early…To wish her morning..😊😊]

3:)

4 hrs to wake up sleepless

2:29am….well I could have been here minutes before…but if I will not pen attractive heading you will not read….

But what should I write?? About you….?? Or about me…?? Or us…?? Or about time I promised you a life….or about time when I had no time for you..?? No…let’s talk about how I promised you to look after you…or or…should I be explaining why I squeaked by when I be holding you by shoulder?? No no let’s talk about how I fooled my friend that I have work in class so I can have extra glimpse of you gossiping with your friend…?? Or yeah may be about the time I fooled you, when you were just right in front of my eyes so I don’t have to see you more…or time I bet my friend you are the 1 gazing me always..and I won by 9 time in 5 min…or time when I don’t even notice…you right behind me??  Or about time you confessed we had…that is not no more…that I never knew…or when I cursed you…or when I begged you….when I left you…when I forgot you….when “when” was no more….ok!! let’s talk about…zzzzzzπŸ˜ͺπŸ˜ͺ😴😴😴

                                                                  3:)

every girl i (don’t)know

why are you so silent ? I’m teasing you….please atleast make face…no you will not. Because you know if you do this… I’ll  be hoping something may happen… something.

Why any love story can’t be just as simple as….as…like…see I’ve no example to give…coz there’s not any love that is simple…why it’s important she’ll have to cry because of me…& I have to apologize….why it’s she’ll have to bleed…& I have to mourn…why every convo should start with “I love u” & should end with same….why late night conversations  are more important than something meaningful interactions…why am I so important to you that you can’t live without me…why after a while you will just hate me…why I already forgotten you….why I’m writing this….coz now when you are gone I know why you don’t wanted it simple. Complications wasn’t just to make us stronger but also so much stronger that when we feel it’s time…… we are strong enough to leave.I still believe there’s simple love…but you are habitual of complications. But I believe on my death bed…. I’ll see you…& I will say to you “I love you”…& nothing…& will close my eyes…& even that tine it’ll be so simple for me…. I know, you will make no face…see…you made it complicated again.
                                                                3:)

why i write?

coz when I was small someone told me u learn sooner and better when you write….but I guess he never knew so do I …I’ll land down here in this mystic forecast….

I really hated all stereotypical things like so much…now I feel like unknowingly how I became part of this stream. Like I really had thought…you must not write until you are hurt or joyful enough….u should not write until u don’t have certain emotions…certain level of emotions…

I believed there’s some threshold frequency of emotions.. until you don’t hit it… u don’t write….but it was never like that…

Of course it was fear….how other’s will react..will they take it same it’s to me…coz every single word is..if I say in computer language… how much ever amount of pixels my text attains on screen or my ink splits on paper multiply it thousand times that’s how I feel. But then I ask myself.. is this really be this special even then when you will have to share this with who had no efforts in your mystical ride!!? Shut up!!…nooo it will not.. . Then I said to myself Β You know what yes…it’s mine just mine. So I concluded ..

Love may has its many languages….I will talk to her in my language coz when I talk to her in mine 1, she listens more carefully…I don’t know whether she understands me or not…( I refer SHE for LOVE here coz for me SHEs means LOVE😊😊)…so I give her my written notes…soo she can copy from that coz she believes too….

u learn sooner and better when you write.

3:)

why i talk to walls?

Coz they listen…

they don’t asks me anything..that can hurt me.

They don’t answers me…so I can make it on my own.

They don’t sympathize me….so that I can stand for myself.

They don’t empathize me…so I can realize my mistakes that are only mine.

When I look back now…I don’t remember anyone was there when I really had something to talk. No matter it’s shit or holy shit. Walls wrapped my screamings, my tears, my joys, my tears of joy inside….so they can only be mine. They never gave any expression to me…may be it’s just cause they were so busy shielding me from outside world’s insecurity.

They told me…our this solitude will lead to your consummation. They said it’s rambunctious for others to accept your greedless smile  not coz you are with me….bt coz u have someone to say they just could wish. They told they are always here for me.

 I asked what if I ever leave u….??

Soo what…we are just walls.. Dude!!…we don’t talk actually…then this complaining thing is way out of league…😏😏 now go to sleep…tomorrow we will discuss how to ask your father for guitar. Good night!!😴😴

Good night.☺πŸ˜ͺπŸ˜ͺ 

                                                               3:)